We all love our toddlers and would do anything for them. Toddlers can be so much fun and they bring a certain joy and wonder to our lives. Toddlers learn so much and they are so excited about life and the world around them. Toddlers love learning, love quality time and just want to be big. Toddlers are great, but they can be difficult. Toddlers are tough because they have so many big feelings and yet they don't fully understand how to communicate their emotions.
One of the hardest parts about being a parent to a toddler is trying to help them navigate their frustration, anger, disappointments, and anxieties. Toddlers don't even know the names of the feelings they have let alone having the ability to handle the emotions and feelings appropriately. As parents, we understand the toddlers are trying to figure out the world and trying to become socialized about the proper way to handle some things. However, even though we (parents) know that toddlers are not fully functioning humans yet, we still get frustrated. We are very tired, emotional, exhausted, and flustered with a tiny human who just seems unreasonable. Parents deal with tantrums throughout the day. Even though most parents understand that tantrums are done because the toddler feels "wronged" in some way that doesn't mean that they don't get annoyed. Quite frankly, toddlers can really affect parents' mental health.
When children just won't calm down and there seems to be nothing that you can do then you might experience intense emotions and have a "parent tantrum." If your daughter it throwing a fit outside of the store and she begins running away from you through the parking lot screaming you are likely going to become very agitated. If you pick up your daughter and then she begins kicking you and throwing her hands while hitting you. You are going to get mad. You might respond by throwing them into their carseat and screaming, "just sit down!" Later, once you calm down you might start to realize that you shouldn't have reacted in that fashion and then mom guilt sinks in. You then start thinking that you are a bad mother and that your daughter deserves better.
The most important thing to do when you have started to notice your mental health struggling is to talk to your doctor. They can send you in the right direction and might encourage you to talk with a counselor or a psychiatrist about possible mental health issues. They are the first people you should talk to if you think that there is something wrong with your mental health. If you had a broken arm you wouldn't wait to see a doctor you would go and talk to the doctors right away.
Also, it is so important to understand that you are not alone. Every parent is feeling the exact same way that you are feeling right now. No matter what you see on Facebook, Instagram, or Pinterest everybody is struggling too. Every toddler is going to throw tantrums because they are all learning about their feelings. All parents are going to have moments where they do not handle the tantrums as they should. No parent is perfect and so don't beat yourself up.
Here is how you can take care of your mental health when your kid just won't stop having tantrums:
- Buy yourself something on Amazon: Sometimes when you are just having a bad day there is something cathartic about buying something on your wish list from Amazon. If you are just not having a good day then it might help.
- TikTok: There are some parents who have found a very positive tribe on TikTok that can help them throughout the day. The moms and dads of TikTok are really normalizing what parents go through and it is nice to know you are not alone.
- Ask for help: Every parent knows how hard it is to be in your position. Ask your friends, or family if you can just hand your toddler off for just an hour so that you can take a breather.
- Partner: If you are a stay-at-home parent and your partner comes home from work tell them that you just need some time by yourself. Sometimes just a short walk can even be beneficial to your health.
- Speak with a professional: If your toddler is having a lot of tantrums and you feel like there is something wrong then you might want to talk to a professional about how to handle them. There might be a way that you can communicate with your toddler so that you can help them understand their feelings and emotions better.
Toddler tantrums are no joke and they can be tiring for everybody! It is important to always make sure that your mental health is okay because you can't be the best parent if you don't take care of yourself first.
Sources: She Knows, Tantrum Fix, The New York Time, Fatherly