Pregnancy is a time when emotions can run the gamut. The roller coaster rolls fast and furious for many months, even beyond birth. Who is to blame us women, though?
Our body is being flooded with an entourage of hormones. Everything about our body (and our world) is changing, and changing fast. We are typically uncomfortable for one reason or another. We are still expected to do everything we did before, just with a tiny bit less grace. And to top it all off, there is usually a tiny person inside of us getting his or her heal wedged in between one of our ribs. So, yeah, who is to blame us?
The problem is that most people don't exactly have the etiquette to properly address an expectant women. Most things people say in fun actually hurt to some extent. Plus, it's not exactly a time when our self-esteem is at its highest. A little word of advice for you to pass on - be Switzerland. Don't know what this means? Read on...
For those who have been caught sleeping in the back of history class and for those history lovers alike, here's a little lesson. Switzerland is what is known as a neutral country. It's been this way since the Treaty of Paris back in 1815. What this means is that Switzerland doesn't start any fights and it doesn't participate in them either.
What this means for people to "be Switzerland" in terms of addressing an expectant women is simply to zip your lips. If you think it may offend an expectant women, don't say it. If you know for a fact that it won't, don't say it (because one can never know for a fact). All in all, just shut the mouth and keep the comments a secret. Be neutral. Be Switzerland.
Here are a few stories of very foolish people who did exactly the opposite of this. To be more specific, here are 15 of the most awful names expectant women have been called by a loved one. Enjoy...and don't follow their example!
15 The Tank
From Liz, here's the story of the time she nearly turned savage on her brother.
"My family is fairly outspoken, so I should have seen it coming. Well, it's not that I didn't see it coming. I just didn't expect my reaction to be so intense. So, more than the insult, I didn't see my own reaction to it coming until it was already too late.
My brother is a real jerk anyway - a lovable jerk I should say - so when he called me "Tank" I'm sure it was just him being himself. We were all standing around after a Sunday meal when he just called me that name rather nonchalantly.
Tank was what he called me. I blurted out, "I'll show you a tank, you *expletive*! I'll show you a tank with the barrel pointed right up your *expletive*!"
Yeah, I'm sure baby got a kick out of that one. "Thanks uncle Frank, you big jerk, you."
14 Hey There Chubs
For those of you working moms, you know that co-workers can be senseless, cruel, and even downright rude. You'll probably hear a little of yourself in Lisa's story, so check this out.
"When I was about six months pregnant, the pregnant nicknames started. Most of them were harmless and just made me laugh. I heard preggers and little mama mostly, but a few others would pop up now and then."
"One name that especially ticked me off was 'Chubs.' The reason it made me so mad was that the lady who called me that was - rude anyway, for one - and SHE was way bigger than me. Even pregnant, she could out eat and out weigh me! I was furious! I wanted to have a weigh off just to point out that she was the true chubs."
13 The Incubator
Of all the people who should know better than to call a pregnant woman a risky nickname, your husband should be number one. It's not how the game plays out most of the time, though. Rachael tells us her hubby story.
"My husband is a dear man. Thankfully, he's still among the land of the living. I say this because he nearly got kicked to the curb by his lovely and very pregnant wife - me."
"I was probably three months pregnant when he first started in with the nicknames. They were all silly and pretty harmless. It got old fast, though. The one that actually brought me to tears was 'The Incubator.' He didn't even say it to my face. He was talking on the phone and that's how he referenced me."
"The look on my face must have told all, because he looked at me as if he was pleading for his very existence (which he was). Needless to say, he never said it again."
12 Cakey Face
Admittedly, we pregnant women can take the cravings to the extreme. But, we're pregnant so leave us alone judgy people. Zenith spills the ugly truth about the correlation between eating and earning a nickname.
"So, this may entirely be my fault, but my pregnant name was 'Cakey Face." Yes, you read that correctly - Cakey Face. I spent the majority of my pregnant days eating things I shouldn't have. Of course, I ate plenty of the right foods, as well. But, no one paid any attention to me doing that now did they? Nooooo!"
"It's just that a freshly baked cake is super delicious. You don't even have to put icing on it. Just give me a fork...actually you don't even need to do that. I'm good with using my hands. Oh my gosh, you see my issue. I totally earned this name. I'll be Cakey Face for the rest of my life. My baby may, in fact, be made of cake!"
Calling a woman, any woman, by the name of a famed whale is like asking the gods to thunder down judgement and wrath on you. Seriously, why would any person choose this foolish route over - oh, I don't know - living? Tina tells all.
"Once upon a time there was a beautiful and human woman named Tina who had a wonderful husband. Late one dark and cold night, an evil witch stole her husband's good heart and replaced it with a bowl full of stupid. This replacement only allowed her husband to say really stupid things - like calling his wife 'Shamu.'"
"I know I watch too many Disney movies, and I'm a little on the fantasy-extreme side of life. What I know I am NOT is a whale. 'No, my loving husband (this is what I told him), I am a human. But should you call me a whale's name one more time we will have a little Sea World tragedy here on Divergey Lane, my love.' He never called me Shamu again."
While it's true that most of the times nicknames during pregnancy are pegged due to either a woman's behavior or her belly. Sometimes you'll find that it's not only the belly that gets picked on. Sometimes the girls up top get their little nicknames as well. Rhoda gives you the scoop.
"During my first pregnancy, my boobs got huge. We're talking they went from a B cup to a a DD cup in what seemed like overnight. It was incredibly noticeable and I couldn't hide the fact that they were enormous."
"Some of my friends thought this was really funny and shamelessly pointed it out by giving me the name 'Boobzilla.' I'm pretty modest about my body, so the big boob issue was a little on the embarrassing side. The goofy name they gave me only added to the embarrassment!"
9 Knocked Up
Some nicknames will grow on you and you'll find them cute and endearing. Other nicknames will make you want to rip heads off if you hear it one more time. Such is the life of a pregnant women. Carrie confirms this with her story.
"I knew the little names would start eventually. When they did at about four months, I was ready for them. Some are cute and others are offensive. Some are sexists and other are just plain goofy."
"The one that I think was the worst for me was someone calling me 'Knocked Up.' At first, it didn't bother me, but as the pregnancy progressed so did my emotional attachment to my baby. By eight months, there was no way I was letting anyone called the precious little baby inside of me 'Knocked Up' as if the pregnancy was all a mistake or accident."
"Ugh, it was really frustrating trying to explain that to people. Finally, I just got nasty and told them straight up that I wasn't knocked up, that I was pregnant. I even told one lady to look up the difference in the dictionary. I'm not sure it's even in the dictionary..."
Some women have very difficult pregnancies. There are expectant moms who are sick their entire pregnancy. Others deal with incredible weight gain. Still others deal with such aches and pains that we just can't imagine how strong they are. Lynda tells us her troubles.
"I had a tough pregnancy. With my medical issues, I gained a ton of weight. It was nearly 100 pounds during one pregnancy. It was way too much and I had a really hard time with it. My husband, who is outspoken anyway, was trying to calm me down and comfort me one day."
"Jokingly he called me 'Pregasaurus' and it was just so awful that I cried and laughed at the same time. Sometimes you just have to roll with the punches. It was already a hard enough time for us, so that particular battle wasn't worth the fight. We just laughed it off and moved on to the next issue at hand. He never called me that in public, just in private as a sort of personal joke between the two of us."
One nickname for a pregnant woman might roll off her back. Call another woman by the same name and you'll have your face slapped five ways to Sunday. Anna tells us about the time she was the former woman.
"Oddly enough, the name that bugged me the most during my pregnancy was one that I'd actually called pregnant friends of mine. It's 'Preggo' and it's pretty common nowadays. I've heard tons of people say it and I've said it myself, like I mentioned before."
"For some reason, when people would call me Preggo, I could not stand it. I would mouth off to them saying I wasn't a jar of spaghetti sauce. That was during my first pregnancy. During my second pregnancy, not a single soul dared to call me that!"
One theme trending in the news these days is the phenomenon of women no longer "being pregnant" or being an 'expecting mother.' No, nowadays the term 'host' has been used to describe a woman when she is carrying a child. To some this is causing an outrage. Karen tells us her story.
"It was my first visit to my OB/GYN's after finding out I was pregnant. I had always really respected my doctor and had no problems wit him. I'm not sure what actually changed with him, but that visit was my last."
"During the conversations with both the nurses and him, they kept referencing me as the 'Host.' It caught me off guard at first, so finally I just asked them why they were using that term. They said is was the politically correct way to address the fetus growing inside me. Was I just an incubator for my child, one that lacked all sense of individuality? No, not gonna happen. I just walked out."
Some people just don't know when to stop. That's all that needs to be said. Here's Jackie opinion on the matter.
"My co-worker was a jokester. He was always the one to clown around in our meetings and always did his best to make everyone laugh. Most of the time it was at the expense of others, but it was all in good fun. We have a pretty good sense of humor around the office, so it wasn't a biggie."
"When I announced to my office that I was expecting, the congratulations went around. The jokes about weight gain, sleepless nights, and such were all mentioned, as well."
"The class clown was very congratulatory like the rest of my co-workers. It wasn't until my pregnancy had progressed that I got fed up with him. It became habit that every time I would stand up from my office chair to go do anything, I would hear random mooing. Yes, mooing as in the vocalization of a bovine. He would moo like a freaking cow at me! It was so annoying!"
4 Baby-Making Machine
For women who have large families or have gotten pregnant very quickly, this one is for you. We women are indeed more than incubators, more than hosts, and more than just baby-making machines. We're women, human beings of the opposite gender as men. People tend to forget that sometimes. Holly offers her two cents.
"It was my mother-in-law who called me a baby-making machine. Personally, I thought it was kind of shady coming from the grandparent of my child, but that's just me. It was after my husband and I had just announced that we were expecting again."
"This was our fifth baby. We'd both made it incredibly clear that we wanted a big family of five kids, so this would be our last pregnancy. Knowing this, it was kind of rude for her to say that."
3 Buddha Belly
It's always the belly that gets picked on. Our pregnant bellies just make too much of a statement not to be the center of attention. Apparently, we have the figure of a divine being because this name has travelled round the world and back. Nanette tells us her story.
"My grandpa came up with this name. 'Buddha Belly' is what he called me during my pregnancy. Admittedly, I did have quite the round belly, so it was endearing to a certain extent."
"It wasn't until the last month that I got tired of it. Honestly, it was only because I was tired of being pregnant not so much that I was tired of getting called a silly name. I was just done having a huge belly and done waddling and done, done, done! Thankfully, my baby was two weeks early because I'm not sure I would have lasted those two weeks as "Buddha Belly."
2 Bump Butt
Unfortunately there are other parts of a woman's body that often expand and change during the months of pregnancy. Our hips, bottom, and thighs all take a hit while we're busy growing a new person. It's a huge bummer sometimes, but that doesn't give anyone else the right to comment on it. Lizza agrees.
"My sister is kind of a B, so when she called me "Bump Butt" after I'd gained some pregnancy weight, it wasn't really a huge surprise. It was devastating, though. I'd always had a voluptuous figure, so I knew pregnancy would only add to that."
"My legs and my butt grew a ton. On top of that, I was always puffy and swollen, so I looked even bigger. Yes, the cellulite on my butt could clearly be seen if you were staring at it. So, apparently my sister was staring at my butt one day and just decided to get mean!"
During the months you are pregnant you become a target. It's like you have a big bullseye stuck on your back. Anyone and everyone seems to pipe up with their opinion on your...whatever. Christina shares her experience.
"One of my good friends decided that it was okay to call me 'Fatty' for the duration of my pregnancy. While it was fine for her to call me that, some other girls in our circle of friends also took the liberty of calling me that, as well."
"The reason my friend called me that was because we'd often talked about our weight and how we struggled to either lose or gain our weight. I had no such relationship to the other girl. In fact, she was a little on the heavy side herself, and her words were a little more piercing than my friend's. I put an end to that very quickly by reminding her my name was spelled with a C, C as in Christina. She shut up."