It's one thing being protective of your children, but it's another thing being overprotective. Overprotective parents are also known as helicopter parents or simply parents that never leave their children alone. Kids need privacy and the ability to grow on their own, just as much as adults do. Parents who exert too much protection over their children could be preparing them for a life filled with psychological damage.
Moms should try not to be that annoying parent who never lets their children do anything without their supervision. Children who have overprotective parents often feel entitled, amongst other security issues. When kids grow up feeling entitled, they often feel the need to be the center of attention when they surround themselves with other people. Unfortunately, that child creates a bad name for themselves and ends up feeling insecure. Insecurity leads to health issues, a lack of self-regulation skills, and more so a lack of responsibility. Moms who had overprotective parents should consider doing the opposite of these fifteen steps to lead her children into a life of fun, love, and responsibility.
Some parents never used extra protection before they had kids, so why start now? All jokes aside, let's take a look at what's too far when it comes to teaching and protecting children.
15 Don't Let Their Children Take Risks
Were you that child who was not allowed to attend a birthday party without your parents attending too? I get it, you feel the need to watch over your child, but sometimes you need to let go and let children think for themselves. You don’t want a child who is scared of everything and will not take a risk to save their life.
If you teach your children the appropriate fundamentals they need in life, they will know when to take a risk and accept the rewards or repercussions. In terms of risk taking, a child's neurological system was constructed to investigate the visual aid it needs on its own in order to grasp the next developmental level. Risk taking is a part of developing within reasonable measures. If you never risked getting out of bed in the morning, look what you would be missing out on.
14 Give Their Children Little Responsibility
You might think it’s great to do as much as you can for your children now, but wait till they get older. If your child has no responsibility growing up, you will be expected to keep do everything you had done when they were younger when they are in their twenties too. A little responsibility is good to help make a child more responsible and grow. It helps to regulate a child’s schedule and make them more productive with their time.
Starting young is the trick. Can you imagine trying to teach a teenager responsibility when you have been doing everything for them growing up? Your kid might expect you to deliver lunch to them at work because they don't know how to make their own. Handing out responsibilities at a young age is key.
13 Take The Blame For Their Children’s Mistakes
Children are children and that’s the bottom line. They are also a product of their environment. Your child is going to make mistakes because they are human. You as an adult should not take responsibility for their mistakes. Accepting the blame is teaching your kids that their wrong actions are okay. Letting them know that their actions are not okay and teaching them the appropriate way to handle the situation is a positive action. Depending on their mistake, they might be a tad embarrassed but sometimes kids have to be embarrassed and called out for their wrongdoings. Sugar coating the problem to make it better at the time is only causing more problems for your child down the road.
Not only will your child not know that their actions are not acceptable, they will be blaming others because they won't know how to accept the blame for themselves.
12 Keep Their Children From Failing By Doing Their Homework
Nobody wants to see their children struggle at school, but doing their homework for them is not teaching them the necessary information that they need to know. It’s a natural parenting habit to hover over your child and make sure they are doing what they need to be doing, but stepping in to do it altogether, is only teaching your child bad habits. The more you help with your children’s homework, the more they will expect from you moving forward. Set your children up for success, not a failure!
If your child needs extra help, sit down and try to talk it out when them. Have a meeting with their teachers to see how your child is doing in school. Maybe you need to set your child up with a routine to advance their knowledge in a certain subject. Whatever you need to do, do not take the easy route and do it for them.
11 Cater To Their Children’s Culinary Desires
Kids can be picky, I get it… but allowing your child to have chicken fingers every night for dinner is neither healthy nor good for disciplinary reasons. I understand you want to include your children in the process of cooking and their opinion matters too, but not every day, if it differs from what you plan to cook. Reaching a happy medium is a good approach to cooking what everyone wants. This will teach your kids that they don’t always get what they want and to enjoy what is in front of them.
Imagine your child goes over to their friend's house and their parents cook roast beef and potatoes, but your child will not eat because they are used to calling the shots at dinner time and eating chicken fingers every meal. Giving in to their culinary desires could end up making your kid picky and unappreciative.
10 Monitor Their Children At Daycare Through A Webcam
Sending your child to daycare for the first time can be very tough on a mother, and watching them through a webcam the first couple days is totally understandable! Who doesn’t want to see what their kid is stirring up at daycare? As much as you want to sit in front of your computer every day and watch, you need to know when enough is enough. Checking up here and there is okay, but the whole time they are at daycare? No, you have other things you could be doing like catching up on your sleep or prepping for when they get home. Furthermore, your child should be with someone you can trust- so there should be no need to watch them through a webcam.
Monitoring your child at daycare could be stressful for you as a parent altogether. Not only is someone else telling and teaching your child what to do, but also being an overprotective parent as it is- this could be tough to swallow.
9 Decide Their Children’s Career Path
It’s normal to voice your opinion on what you think your child should do when they grow up and get a job, but influencing their decision is a whole different story. If you want to influence your child, teach them about passion and tell them to pursue something they are passionate about. Think about your life right now and whether you are doing something you are passionate about. Are you happy? Do you want your child to be happy when they start out in their career? The last thing you want is your child blaming you for pushing them into a career that they are not happy with.
Some parents push their children to go to college and all that is doing is wasting money because their children are not interested in pursuing that in the first place. Children need to figure this step out on their own.
8 Your 10-Year-Old Still Rides A Bike With Training Wheels
To each your own, but making your child wear training wheels because you don’t want to see your kid fall and get a few scrapes is not allowing your child to grow. Children need to experience situations in life that take them out of their comfort zone. This will allow them to grow. You don’t want your child to be in the ‘Guinness Book of World Records’ for the oldest person still riding a bike with training wheels. Children tend to grow through stages in life. There is a training wheel stage that every child who rides a bike goes through but that is usually in the single-digit years. A couple scrapes and bruises when they are young will only strengthen your child for their future.
7 Answer Questions On Behalf Of Their Children
Kids are shy and not always responsive or comfortable answering questions. As a parent, you are responsible for teaching your kids how to speak to others, and by no means answering every question on behalf of your child. This is teaching them to turn to you for everything. Trust me, you don’t want your child having social issues- social media already takes care of that problem. If a teacher asks your child something in class, are they going to call you for the answer?
Social security comes from confidence. Build up your child's confidence and let them speak for themselves. You might say something they don't agree with because everyone has a different opinion and you weren't given the question in the first place. Children have a voice for a reason and they deserve to be heard.
6 Attending A Job Interview With Your Child
This is just a complete no-no! As much as you want to be there for your child and support them or laugh at them while they are trying to get a job, please don’t. Don’t do it for your child’s sake and spare the embarrassment for yourself. It is a big steping stone taking your child to their first interview, but going in with them is a step in the wrong direction. Kids need space and they need the confidence to do this on their own. You are not going to be by your child's side when they are on the job, so why be there when they are trying to get the job.
Being supportive is great, and every parent should show support towards their kids. Dropping your child off for the interview is showing the right kind of support, but going into the interview with your child is breaching privacy and showing your child that they don't have the confidence to do this on their own.
5 Track Their Children Through GPS
What has society come to that we are actually tracking our children through modernized technology? Is this a step in the wrong direction? Yes, this is overstepping their privacy. If you are a parent and you are considering tracking your child through GPS, think about your parents tracking you.
There is only one positive to GPS children tracking and that is for toddlers who tend to escape in grocery stores or at shopping malls. Then yes, use it for that purpose and only that. Although, responsible parents do not let their children out of sight, so again this is breaching privacy so I wouldn’t do it. Leave the GPS for your vehicle.
If you feel the need to track every move your child makes, expect them to live with you forever. They will not have the security to move out.
4 Not Enough Privacy For Their Children
As a parent, you are responsible for every move your child makes until they reach a certain age, but being present 24/7 is impossible and nor is it healthy for you or your child. Your child needs their independence and needs to make mistakes on their own. Don’t be that parent who bombards their children and their friends when they are playing because you don’t want to miss out on something. Your child needs space and the sooner you realize that the sooner your child will appreciate the time they spend with you! Supervising your children and their friends can be invisible supervision. They know you are there if they need you, but you display the passive parental presence.
Privacy is important at any age- even for babies. A baby uses privacy as their rest and downtime away from human interaction. This also allows the baby to entertain itself, which is preparing them for the future.
3 Medicine For EVERYTHING
According to Global News, adults are giving their children too much medicine and they were not strengthening their immune systems. Medicine is essential when needed, but are you giving your child too much medicine? Yes, there is such thing as too much medicine. If you are turning to Tylenol every time your child has a toothache or feels sick or ate something they shouldn’t have, they will start to build immunity and it will no longer work the way it should. This is also bad on a child’s organs.
Fun Fact: it is better to give your child medicine using a syringe because it is more accurate than using a spoon. A spoon can provide your child with too much or not enough medicine that they need. Also, too much medicine leaves your child with different side effects and puts them at risk of overdosing.
2 Micromanage Their Children’s Friendships
Micromanaging your children and their friends; meaning you hover over them to make sure they are still breathing, playing fair, following the rules you have provided, and every other reason you would have the tendency to watch over them like a hawk. Your children didn't have the opportunity to manage your friendships, so what makes you feel like you can manage theirs? Of course, if they get involved in the wrong group, having a talk with your child could benefit them in many ways, but they need to figure this out on their own too!
Kids are very smart, and they often gravitate to people similar to themselves. They find friends with the same interests and goals in life and with the proper parenting, and level of respect and appreciation they receive at home, they should have no problem in finding good friends without your help!
1 Overprotective Parents Do Not Let Kids Be Kids
Kids act the way they do because they don’t know any different. Let them do silly things and learn from their mistakes. Acting as their personal assistant could turn them into a competitive person with the need to have someone assist them at all times. Helicopter kids tend to have more health issues and emotional distress because their parents were telling them when to eat, sleep and basically when to do everything. You don’t want your kids telling everyone what to do when they get to be 18. Nobody likes a boss! Kids need to have pillow fights, food fights, water fights and nights where they binge on junk food. Yes, they might get sick, end up with a few scratches but in the end was it worth it and did they learn something from it, hopefully.
Children who are brought up with overly strict rules or have overprotective parents often rebel. Some children rebel openly, some rebel on the sly. Some kids will find a way to do what they want, whether it is in front of you or behind your back- you be the judge!