Mother returns her twin boys after trying to adopt them when she found out she was pregnant with her son.
Ali and Michael Sanders got married. They loved each other so much and they wanted to start a family. She had always wanted to be a mother and she knew that her husband would make a great father. They struggled with getting pregnant and that is why they decided to talk to a few doctors about why they were not getting pregnant. After meeting with their doctor they learned that she was "infertile" and there was "no way" that she was going to conceive a child on her own. She was told that they would never get pregnant. That is when they decided that they were going to adopt.
The couple was approved to adopt the most perfect 8-month-old babies! They were so excited and it was exactly what they wanted. They started going through the adoption process and brought home their twin boys before it was completely finalized. Ali remembers when she brought the twins home. She said that the carseats took up the entire backseat and her husband was already head over heels in love with the sweet little babies. She remembers how happy he was as he buckled the kids into their carseat for the first time. They drove home and introduced the twins to their grandparents. The grandparents were so excited to meet their grandsons. They were gushing over the babies. Everybody was excited. This is what they had all been waiting for!
She said that she never felt attached to the boys. She said that she tried really hard to be their "mom" but she felt numb to them. She didn't feel the love that she thought she was supposed to feel with her children. She could see her husband attach to them immediately and yet she didn't feel anything to the two boys. She said that she brought her twin boys to the park in the perfect "buggy" that she had spent over £1,000 for and all she could think was that she wanted the process to stop. She said she had never felt so lonely. She confessed that at one point she wished that the twins wouldn't wake up because then she wouldn't have to play mom again and she didn't want to be.
Michael, Ali's husband, told her to go to the doctor. He said she was kind of "out of sorts" and she felt like there was something wrong with her. She knew that it was because she had adopted babies that she couldn't get attached to, but she didn't want to open up with her husband about her feelings. She went to the doctor and they took a urine sample and the nurse came back into the room and told her that she was pregnant.
The couple talked it over as they were leaving the doctor's office. They were in complete shock. They could not believe what they had learned. They took another pregnancy test and it was a blazing positive. They were shocked. They made the devastating call to the social worker and just like that the adoption was off. They were not going to be parents to the twin boys. They called the social worker and said, "I don't think we will be able to keep the twins." The social worker came that evening and took the boys from them. And that was it. That was the last time that she had ever seen those boys. When the boys were taken from their arms she said that something inside of her broke and she cried and cried. She said that she will never be able to fix the feeling she had when the boys were taken from her. The social worker told her to destroy any evidence that the babies were at the house. They aren't able to show pictures or share names.
It has been three years since giving up the twins and they have a son named Jacob. She said that there was definitely a difference between her own child and the twins. She is now pregnant with another miracle baby and she is so excited to welcome a sweet little baby girl. The only thing she has from the twins are her memories and little gingerbread ornaments that she got through the adoption process. She believes that she made the right decision for her family and for the twins. The twins were adopted by another family shortly after and so they are no longer in the foster care program. She believes she was not able to get attached to her child, because her body was telling her that she needed to focus her attention on her biological child.