To The Women Who Suffer With Infertility, I Am Sorry

I had four children in five years. My husband and I were very fortunate to be able to get pregnant with each baby on the first try. I have not had a period in over six years because we got pregnant right away before having one.

We even had two miscarriages that we experienced in-between baby numbers 2 and 3. We got pregnant immediately after those as well. We realize how blessed we are and the older I get and the more I talk to other moms, I feel guilty for how easy it came for us.

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To those women who are struggling with infertility, I am truly sorry. I am so sorry that you have to watch other women become pregnant. I am sorry. A friend and I got married around the same time and we wanted to start our family around the same time. I ended up being pregnant with my fourth child before she had her first baby. It was so hard telling her that I was pregnant again. I knew she would be happy for me but I knew that it wasn't easy.

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I remember her asking, "How did you guys get pregnant so easily?" I didn't know what to tell her. I didn't know how to respond. I felt so bad for her. I am sorry for those women who feel like their bodies are failing them. I am sorry for those women who feel like they're failures. I am sorry to those women who get asked all the time stupid questions like, "When are you guys starting a family" or comments like, "Everything happens for a reason." I am sorry.

In high school, we were taught that if you have sex then you will get pregnant and you will be a teenage mom. What they don't talk about is that many women will suffer from miscarriages. They don't talk about how some women have to track their ovulation, check their temperatures, and use special prescriptions to get pregnant.  We never learned that some couple have very little chance of conceiving naturally and have to turn to adoption, surrogacy, or IVF. As high schoolers, they never wanted to tell us that some couples try for years before they are able to get pregnant. No woman ever thinks she will be the one to suffer from infertility until she is continually haunted by negative pregnancy tests.

Ladies, I am so sorry. I wish there was something I could do or say. I wish that I could donate my fertility. My heart aches for you. I want you ladies to know that there is nothing wrong with you. You are perfect. You are important. You are not a failure. Infertility sucks. I am deeply and truly sorry for your struggle.

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