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Yes, I Want A Minivan

Last summer, my husband, brother-in-law, sister-in-law, and my toddler son took a road trip to a family reunion on the East Coast. Since we were carpooling, none of our vehicles would fit the whole crew. Instead, we decided to rent a minivan.

HALLELUJAH! Minivans are amazing. That minivan probably saved us from being at each others' throats the whole fifteen-hour drive. With space for each person to stretch out, take naps, and store all their stuff, it was awesome. No one had to deal with an elbow in their side or a farting seatmate. And parking was a breeze thanks to sliding doors!!!

Move over, station wagon. (Yes, I drive a station wagon!) It's time to find the perfect minivan. Heck yes, I'm going to be that soccer mom with a minivan and a car full of kids. Guess what? Those soccer moms are driving earth-bound space machines, people. Joke is on the rest of us - they are LIVING THE DREAM!

My dream mini-van has heated AND cooled seats. No more thighs sticking to the seat on hot summer days, or cold leather chilling me to the bone in the winter. It has climate zones so my husband can be uncomfortably warm while my hair enjoys the "Beyonce in front of a fan" moment. Shep can have indirect cooling and Rory can have whatever she wants. We haven't translated her coos into a preference just yet.

It also has two separate television screens. My kids can watch the same movie (Rory is never really interested in screens anyway), but my husband is going to need a screen for his own entertainment. Let's be honest - I'm going to make him drive while I binge watch Forensic Files from the backseat.

Every seat is going to have a cupholder, a trash bin, and a built-in maid. I'm kidding about the maid part. I only wish that were a real thing. Somehow I feel like I've read about minivans that have a fold-out camping unit as well? Add that to the list. It would be nice to go hideout in the driveway when my kids are up all night puking with the flu. I'm not a monster! I'd leave my husband inside to tend to them.

Did I mention how glorious all that extra space is? Bring along the baby gear - the carriers, the pack-n-play, an extra potty for my toddler. Don't forget the cooler full of snacks! With a backseat and plenty of space, I forsee lots of great times with friends of all ages. Yes, our kids' friends. But also ours - when we've escaped on a parent's night out, the backseat is going to be the peanut gallery as we hop from brewery to brewery. Whichever one of us is pregnant can be the designated driver! Because, of course, someone is bound to be pregnant - at least for the next few years.

It's going to be bright green. Like a highlighter. With flames on the side. No because I drive super fast, but because I want to be able to spot it easily outside Target.

 

Which van should I look into? What do you love about your van? Tell me all about your true vehicular love on Twitter @pi3sugarpi3. 

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